Percy Jackson Quotes
by child of Hermes-god of stealth
Summary: We all have our favorite quotes from PJO and HOO, right? Well, what if I happened to put them all together? Read to find out! ALL rights to Rick Riordan! *In background* (Go Rick!) Rated T for awesome quotes!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So, anyways, (I tend to get off topic ,like, a lot) I've been collecting my favorite quotes from Percy Jackson and the Olympians and The Heroes of Olympus. More to come! * Squeals into hands and giggles uncontrollably***

**All rights to *Cue applause and mega ice statue* Rick Riordan! *I grin stupidly***

**Lemme get this straight- EVERYTHING BELONGS TO RICK RIORDAN! *screams into ears* **

"Let us find the dam snackbar." Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."

Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"

Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."

"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."

-_Thalia, Zoe, Grover, and Percy in The Titan's Curse_

Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."

-_Percy Jackson in The Titan's Curse_

Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."

"Which one is me?" I asked.

"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.

"Oh, shut up."

_- Grover, Zoe, and Percy in The Titan's Curse_

"Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure."

-_Annabeth and Percy in The Battle of the Labryinth_

I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

-_Percy in the Battle of the Labryinth_

"With great power comes a great need to take a nap."

_- Nico in The Last Olympian_

"I'll hold the flower while you beat up the thief?"

-_Percy in The Demigod Files_

Frank didn't have to knock out Alcyoneus too many times, because the giant's head kept bouncing and hitting the ice. As they raced along, the half-conscious Golden Boy mumbled a tune that sounded like 'Jingle Bells'

-_Frank in Son Of Neptune_

Percy shrugged. He was still looking at Frank like he was miffed. 'I got a bone to pick with you, Zhang. You can turn into an eagle? And a bear?'

'And an elephant,' Hazel said proudly.

'An elephant.' Percy shook his head in disbelief. 'That's your family gift? You can change shape?'

Frank shuffled his feet. 'Um … yeah. Periclymenus, my ancestor, the Argonaut – he could do that. He passed down the ability.'

'And he got that gift from Poseidon,' Percy said. 'That's completely unfair. I can't turn into animals.'

Frank stared at him. 'Unfair? You can breathe underwater and blow up glaciers and summon freaking hurricanes – and it's unfair that I can be an elephant?'

Percy considered. 'Okay. I guess you got a point. But next time I say you're totally beast –'

'Just shut up,' Frank said. 'Please.'

Percy cracked a smile.

-_Percy, Hazel, and Frank In Son of Neptune_

He passed Mrs. O'Leary, who looked up curiously with a gorgon wriggling in her mouth.

"I'm fine!" Percy yelled as he ran by, followed by a giant screaming bloody murder.

-_Percy In the Son of Neptune_

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was

fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."

SMASH!

"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin."

-_Ella and Tyson In the Son of Neptune_

"Now I'm MAD!" Terminus shrieked. "I'm strangling you. Feel that? Those are my hands around your neck, you big bully. Get over here! I'm going to

head-butt you so hard—"

"Enough!" The giant stepped on the statue and broke Terminus in three pieces—pedestal, body, and head.

"You DIDN'T!" shouted Terminus. "Percy Jackson, you've got yourself a deal! Let's kill this upstart."

The giant laughed so hard that he didn't realize Percy was charging until it was too late. Percy jumped up, vaulting off the giant's knee, and drove

Riptide straight through one of the metal mouths on Polybotes's breastplate, sinking the Celestial bronze hilt-deep in his chest. The giant stumbled

backward, tripping over Terminus's pedestal and crashing to the ground.

While he was trying to get up, clawing at the sword in his chest, Percy hefted the head of the statue.

"You'll never win!" the giant groaned. "You cannot defeat me alone."

"I'm not alone." Percy raised the stone head above the giant's face.

"I'd like you to meet my friend Terminus. He's a god!"

Too late, awareness and fear dawned in the giant's face. Percy smashed the god's head as hard as he could into the Polybotes's nose, and the giant

dissolved, crumbling into a steaming heap of seaweed, reptile skin, and poisonous muck. Percy staggered away, completely exhausted.

"Ha!" said the head of Terminus. "That will teach him to obey the rules of Rome."

-_Percy Jackson and Terminus In the Son of Neptune_

Grover cradled his laurel sapling in his hands. "Well . . . sure good to be together again. Arguing. Almost dying. Abject terror. Oh, look. It's our floor."

-_Grover the Last Olympian_

"You're a stalker with hooves."  
"I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing."  
― Grover, _The Titan's Curse_

"You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."  
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"  
Y-yes, Mr. D."  
Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"  
You're a god."  
Yes, child."  
A god. You."  
― Percy and Dionysus, _The Lightning Thief_

"I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?"  
"Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything."  
"Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb."  
"Was it hard?" Annabeth asked."  
― Percy, Rachel, and Annabeth, _The Battle of the Labyrinth_

"Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say."  
― Ares, _The Lightning Thief_

"Now, come over here so I can pat you down."  
"But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."  
He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down.  
"You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?"  
"Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid."  
― Percy and Terminus, _The Son of Neptune_

"The throne rumbled. A wave of gale-force anger slammed into me.  
_WHO DARES-_  
The voice stopped abruptly, The anger retreated, which was a good thing, because just those two words had almost blasted my mind to shreds.  
_Percy._ My fathers voice was still angry but more controlled. _What-exactly-are you doing on my throne?_  
"I'm sorry, Father," I said. "I needed to get your attention."  
_This was a very dangerous thing to do. Even for you. If I hadn't looked before I blasted, you would now be a puddle of seawater._"  
― Percy and Poseidon, _The Last Olympian_

**Next chapter should be up later today or tomorrow...*sighs dejectedly***


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter will have Heroes of Olympus quotes! (Go Team Leo) *Insert happy dance***

**EVERYTHING belongs to Rick Riordan!**

"Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked.  
"It only works on wild animals."

"So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned.  
"Hey!" I protested.  
― Percy, Annabeth, and Grover, _The Lightning Thief_

"It's him," I said. "Typhon."  
I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!"  
―Percy, _The Last Olympian_

"_Braccas meas vescimini_!"  
I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!"  
― Percy, _The Lightning Thief_

"Can you surf really well, then?"  
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.  
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."  
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)"  
― Nico, Percy, and Grover, _The Titan's Curse_

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!  
Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"  
― Percy, Blackjack, and Dionysus, _The Titan's Curse_

"Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die."  
― Percy, _The Battle of the Labyrinth_

"Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"  
― Percy and Hades, _The Lightning Thief_

"I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."  
― Percy and Rachel, _The Battle of the Labyrinth_

"You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"  
"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.  
"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"  
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer."  
― Percy and Tyson, _The Battle of the Labyrinth_

"Dreams like a podcast,  
Downloading truth in my ears.  
They tell me cool stuff."  
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.  
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."  
"A god named Fred?"  
― Percy and Apollo, _The Titan's Curse_

"Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."  
"He's the sun god," I said.  
"That's not what I meant."  
― Percy and Thalia, _The Titan's Curse_

I don't recommend shadow travel if you're scared of:

a) The dark

b) Cold shivers up your spine

c) Strange noises

d) Going so fast you feel like your face is peeling off

In other words, I thought it was awesome.

-Percy, _The Last Olympian_

Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.

-Percy, _The Battle of the Labyrinth_


	3. Heroes of Olympus Quotes

**Hi again! *grins cheekily* So, about 1 more chapter after this... Team Leo! *waves arms around and screams* Heroes of Olympus is my favorite series, just so ya know. Yay!**

**EVERYTHING BELONGS TO RICK RIORDAN! **

Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, 'festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?"

_-_Leo and Jason_, The Lost Hero_

"Can we just call them storm spirits?" Leo asked. "Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks."

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

"I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"  
Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!"

-Jason and Leo, _The Lost Hero_

"Vulcan?" Leo demanded. "I don't even LIKE Star Trek!"

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

Piper gripped his hand and followed him, "If I fall, you're catching me." "Uh, sure." Jason hoped he wasn't blushing.  
Leo stepped out next. "You're catching me, too, Superman. But I ain't holding your hand."

-Leo, Jason, and Piper, _The Lost Hero_

What's Cabin Nine?" Leo asked. "And I'm not a Vulcan!"  
"Come on, Mr. Spock, I'll explain everything."

-Leo and Will, _The Lost Hero_

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.

-Jason, _The Lost Hero_

"I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!"

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

No, no," Leo said. "Rainbows. Very macho."

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

"Um...is that thing _tame_?" Frank said.  
The horse whinnied angrily.  
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, _'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'._"

-Percy, Frank, and Arion, _The Son of Neptune_

"Two hundred Romans, and no one's got a pen? Never mind!"

He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write.

Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form?

Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up."

-Percy, Frank, and Mars, _The Son of Neptune_

The giant raised his trident and net. "I am Polybotes! Kneel before me so I may destroy you quickly."

Apparently, no one in the store was impressed. A tiny dark object came sailing out the window and landed at the giant's feet. Polybotes yelled, "Grenade!"

He covered his face. His troops hit the ground.

When the thing did not explode, Polybotes bent down cautiously and picked it up.

He roared in outrage. "A Ding Dong? You dare insult me with a Ding Dong?"

-Polybotes, _The Son of Neptune_

Yeah," Percy said. "He slaughtered my panda."

-Percy, _The Son of Neptune_

"All roads lead there child. You should know that."  
"Detention?"

-Percy and Juno, _The Son of Neptune_

He turned to Frank who was trying to pull his fingers out of the Chinese handcuffs…  
"Okay," Frank relented. "Sure." He frowned at his fingers, trying to pull them out of the trap. "Uh, how do you—"  
Leo chuckled. "Man, you've never seen those before? There's a simple trick to getting out."  
Frank tugged again with no luck. Even Hazel was trying not to laugh.  
Frank grimaced with concentration. Suddenly, he disappeared. On the deck where he'd been standing, a green iguana crouched next to an empty set of Chinese handcuffs.  
"Well done, Frank Zhang," Leo said dryly, doing his impression of Chiron the centaur. "That is exactly how people beat Chinese handcuffs. They turn into iguanas."

-Leo and Frank, _The Mark of Athena_

"Gods of Olympus." Piper stared at Leo. "What happened to _you_?"  
His hair was greased back. He had welding goggles on his forehead, a lipstick mark on his cheek, tattoos all over his arms, and a T-shirt that read HOT STUFF, BAD BOY, and TEAM LEO.  
"Long story," he said.

-Leo and Piper, _The Mark of Athena_


	4. Chapter 4

**So, this might, might, MIGHT be the last chapter. If I find more quotes, then, Yay! If not (I probably will have more...), well, don't worry, 'cause I'm writing 4 different stories at once right now, so there will be different stories written by *Insert applause* me! *Runs around in circles screaming for coffee* So MANY ideas I just have to start them all at once! :D**

**Everything belongs to Rick Riordan!**

**annabetheverdeen7dobby: don't worry, you did not just make a fool of yourself! We're all weirdos here, join the club!**

**Tori Daughter of Apollo: Thanks! I was worried about how these would turn out...**

**kingawesome: Leo is my first! *giggles about evil espresso drinks and leaky dragons***

**So... read on and ignore the boring stuff above *points over head*.**

He looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy after a beat-down.

Don't talk to me about ghosts, doughboy.

"Ghosts? Pfft. Nah. I'm cool. A storm spirit chucked me down the Grand Canyon this morning, but you know, all in a day's work, right?"

_-_Leo, _The Lost Hero_

"Cool, I always wanted a sister who could beat me up."

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

Besides, he had a fire-breathing, only slightly leaky dragon on his side. What could go wrong?

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

"Ah, I got duct tape and breath mints. I'll be fine,"

-Leo, _The Lost Hero_

_Go chase a donut!" _

_- Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters_

_"Family spat! You turned me into a dandelion!" _

_- Nico Di Angelo_

**"Orientation film?" Nico asked. "Is it G or PG? 'Cause Bianca is kinda strict—"**

**"It's PG-13," Grover said.**

**"Cool!" Nico happily followed him out of the room.**

**-Nico and Grover, ****_The Titan's Curse_**

**"And, whoa!" He looked at Mr. D. "You're the wine dude? No way!"**

**-Nico, ****_The Titan's Curse_**

**Nico lifted his sword with effort. "Do we get to kill the other team?"**

**"Well… no."**

**"But the Hunters are immortal, right?"**

**"That's only if they don't fall in battle. Besides—"**

**"It would be awesome if we just, like, resurrected as soon as we were killed, so we could keep fighting, and—"**

**"Nico, this is serious. Real swords. These can hurt."**

**He stared at me, a little disappointed, and I realized that I'd just sounded like my mother. Whoa. Not a good sign.**

**-Percy and Nico, ****_The Titan's Curse_**

**"It's cool. No sword. See? No sword. Calm thoughts. Sea grass. Mama cows. Vegetarianism."**

**_-Percy, The Titan's Curse_**

In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day.

— Percy, The Titan's Curse

"Dreams like a podcast,  
Downloading truth in my ears.  
They tell me cool stuff."  
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.  
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."  
"A god named Fred?"

— Percy, The Titan's Curse

"How did you die?"  
"We er...drowned in a bathtub."  
"All three of you?"  
"It was a big bathtub."

— Grover and Charon, The Lightning Thief

He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.  
_"Green grass breaks through snow.  
Artemis pleads for my help.  
I am so cool."_  
He grinned at us, waiting for applause.  
"That last line was four syllables." Artemis said.  
Apollo frowned. "Was it?"  
"Yes. What about _I am so bigheaded?"_  
"No, no, that's six syllable, hhhm." He started muttering to himself.  
Zoe Nightshade turned to us. "Lord Apollo has been going through this haiku phase ever since he visited Japan. Tis not as bad as the time he visited Limerick. If I'd had to hear one more poem that started with, _There once was a godess from Sparta-"_  
"I've got it!" Apollo announced. "_I am so awesome._ That's five syllables!" He bowed, looking very pleased with himself.

— Artemis and Apollo, The Titan's Curse

"Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum."

-The Sea of Monsters


End file.
